Have you ever felt like giving up something when you firmly believed that you could achieve it somehow? Have you ever experienced the feeling of worthlessness - that nothing you do seems to go your way?
Have you ever felt that you were drifting far from your dreams?
Dreams - they always seem so near, but when you take a step forward, it seems to drift further than you can imagine.
I caught myself brooding over these questions, wondering what is beyond my life. Sometimes, I realise I have lost the ability to appreciate the present.
Perhaps, there are many factors in place - friends who have found a job and it makes me want to get a job too, friends who travel to many countries & you wonder why is your life so pathetic, friends who find purpose in life yet you seem to be wallowing in self-pity & living life aimlessly ... the list goes on. You start to have self-doubt on your ability and that nothing seems to go your way. Life totally sucks isnt it?
The feeling of envy made me lose my directions and even my dreams. For example, the eagerness to get a job may just made me eager to grab any job that comes along the way. However, in my heart, I know pretty well what I hope to achieve. I have paced myself, took deep breaths, and put myself back on the right track. Everyone lives his/her life differently. Our lives are defined strongly, by ourselves. Therefore, there is not a need to get on the bandwagon and follow what everyone is doing. What matters most is that you enjoy the present moment and know that what you are doing is the right thing, regardless of what others say.
I have caught up with the politics of envy which is something I strongly abhorred (yet i am now circumscribing to it). I have been training myself to do the followings things to deal with envy:
- Start writing 5 things that you are grateful for or blessed with each night.
- Appreciate the notion of living in the present
- Embrace the negative feelings with a pinch of salt (part of life, dont keep harping on it)
Beautiful Day of My Life: My dreams are important and are coming true.
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